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A Sunflower Sharing: Santha & Family
13 March 2013

"I just would like to tell people who are going through this, don't give up."

During the latest edition of the Sunflower Remembrance Day this November, Santha, her two girls, and helper, showed the courage and strength to share her husband's story. Together, they remembered the amazing man that he was.

My husband Raja was diagnosed with first-stage thyroid cancer in the year 1999.

It was a big hit on us, but once I found out I was expecting with Buvenes, our older daughter, we just wanted to live on for our children - Raja especially. So he summed up his willpower to overcome his illness. That's how he managed to survive this long - that's 14 years of survival - when he passed away.

Towards the end, I couldn't take the pain from him. So that's when I became very helpless.

He would just tell me, 'Just throw me down from the block. Just push me down. I don't want to live anymore in this world.'

Sharing the best times they had with Mr Raja, who passed away last year.

Holding strong together: from left, Lisa, Buvenes, Santha, and Pink

I totally couldn't understand this pain, but I did understand that it had to be very extreme for a person to speak such words. It was very painful, and wasn't easy for him to go through it, but he never gave up. He wanted to live with us. He wanted to live with the kids and me. That's the amount of love he had, which nobody else can give us. Nobody else will be able to replenish it back.

He always said that he loved me, and that he will always love me.

On my bedspread is the phrase, 'No matter what, I love you'. During the last days, when he couldn't talk, he pointed to the sentence and showed it to me. Even though he couldn't talk, he pointed and I knew what he was trying to tell me.

These memories stay on our mind, and will always be there.

It's been a long journey, but I've learned a lot of things in this journey - like how to be strong.

Amy has been an angel to us, and really took care of my husband till the last days. She gave him all the best, whatever she could, to his own comfort and requirements.

She did her level best and whatever she could do for him, she did with a full heart.

I would like to tell people who are going through this, don't give up. Will power is another power that will keep you going. If your mind can fight that, the disease can't do much to you.

Be strong, and support your loved one all the way, whenever he or she needs you.

HCA Hospice Care provides support for the caregivers of our patients, whether it's through counselling, financial assistance, or through practical palliative caregiving training.